Many people are surprised to learn that dads and male partners can suffer from postpartum depression, too. New fathers are at greater risk if they have had a history of depression or anxiety prior to becoming a father, or if the new mom also struggles with postpartum. Research has found that about 14 percent of new dads in the US suffer from postpartum depression or anxiety sometime within the first year after having a baby. (Palson, 2010).
You may wonder how this can be since dad’s don’t go through the physical changes of pregnancy and childbirth. It turns out, however, that dad’s hormones change too! Studies show that dad’s estrogen, testosterone and cortisol (stress hormones) all go up.
We may not be as aware of a dad’s symptoms because you don’t typically show your emotions in the same way women do. Women may be more likely to cry and express feelings of sadness, guilt, hopelessness, self-consciousness or feelings of being trapped. Men, on the other hand, may show signs of depression by being more argumentative, irritable, or withdrawing more frequently from family and friends. You may try to escape through things like working longer hours, using drugs or alcohol, playing video games or watching more television. It is common for new dads to feel growing pressures to provide for your families both financially and emotionally. Sometimes depression or anxiety in men can manifest in physical symptoms like back aches, headaches, or sexual dysfunction.
It’s difficult to ask for help, especially as a man and as a new father. Men tend to keep their feelings to themselves in our culture, which is reinforced when men aren’t asked how they are doing after the birth of a child. As a new dad, you are most likely experiencing greater pressures to succeed and to be supportive to your new baby and partner. It’s likely that no one has asked you how you have been coping, and the adjustment to fatherhood can be very lonely and stressful. It doesn’t have to be.
Many of us may think that it’s selfish or self-indulgent to talk to someone about your problems, but really it is in the best interest of your child to do so. While you may be able to cope with your stress yourself, numerous studies show that not taking care of your mental health may negatively affect your child’s well being. While you may be feeling greater financial strain during this time, your mental health is an important investment. Not just so that you can feel better, but so that your partner and child can experience the best of you.
