As I watched Psychology Professor Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testify before the world two weeks ago, I was struck by a comment made by Vermont Senator, Patrick Leahey. He said directly to Dr. Ford, “Courage is Contagious.” Dr. Ford’s speaking up about her experience surviving sexual assault has given others the courage to do the same. I think that the #metoo movement has gained momentum precisely for this reason. Courage certainly is contagious. Speaking out against injustice in spite of your fear is a wonderful way to grow and affect change in your life. I firmly believe, in spite of the final outcome, that Dr. Ford’s courage has helped us all to grow.
What is it that gives us the courage to speak up? For the women whom I have had the privilege to counsel over the years, I can tell you that they feel courageous enough to speak up when they know someone believes in them – when they know somewhere inside of themselves that speaking up is good for them, and that they will feel better eventually, after they have talked about it. Think of the women in your life whom you have admired for sharing their truths.
Courage also comes from within. When you decide to face your fear, get in touch with your anger, and share your story, you become powerful. Think about it. Did you attend one of the Women’s Marches in January? Or have you participated in a take back the night rally? These are two examples of powerful events that inspire us to speak up collectively. But they start from finding our voice inside of us.
Courage is especially important because some men in power are exacerbating problems with sexual assault by minimizing its lasting impact. Sexual assault is traumatic. When you are forced against your will to endure something violent (even if you are intoxicated at the time) your body typically freezes or dissociates. This is because the feelings of terror and helplessness are just too unmanageable during an assault, so your body numbs out or shuts down in order to cope. The lack of control over what happens to your body is what makes sexual assault traumatic.
The irony is, however, that no matter how much we try to ignore or suppress our memory and feelings associated with a traumatic event, we simply can’t. Our brains won’t allow us to. Therefore, the only way to really heal is to talk about it. This is so that the trauma you have lived through becomes less of an intense emotional experience that controls you. Talking about it will help you to make the memory less damaging and impactful, so that you can move on in life and feel safe(r) again.
My guess is that Dr. Ford knows this. She knows that speaking up helped her brain heal, helped her to feel more in touch with her feelings, and helped her to feel liberated and safer again. I have a hunch that Dr. Ford knows that holding in her pain didn’t serve her or anyone. Dr. Ford found her courage – I hope you find yours too.
Dr. Joseph leads a Sexual Assault Survivor’s Group for adults called Courage is Contagious at her office in Manhattan. For more information, please contact her directly: dr.jenjoseph@gmail.com
